# There are two reasons why some people don't mind their own business. One is that they haven't any mind, the other that they haven't any business.
# "I'm a very busy man, sir. What is your proposition?"
"I want to make you rich."
"Just so. Leave your recipe with me and I'll look it over later. Just now I'm engaged in closing up a little deal by which I expect to make $3.50 in real money."
# A teacher asked those pupils who wanted to go to heaven to raise their hands. All except little Ikey's hands went up. The teacher asked him if he didn't want to go to heaven and Ikey replied that he had heard his father tell his mother that 'Business had all gone to hell' and Ikey wanted to go where the business had gone.
# "There is one respect in which a live business man isn't like a tree."
"What is that?"
"If he remains rooted to the spot, he can't branch out."
# First Merchant (as reported in the New York "Trade Record")—"How's business?"
Second Merchant—"Picking up a little. One of our men got a $5,000 order yesterday."
"Go away. I don't believe that."
"Honest he did—I'll show you the cancellation."
# A business man advertised for an office boy. The next morning there were some fifty boys in line. He was about to begin examining the applicants when his stenographer handed him a card on which was scribbled:
"Don't do anything until you see me. I'm the last kid in line, but I'm telling you I'm there with the goods."
# Unfortunate Pedestrian (who has been knocked down and dazed)—"Where am I? Where am I?" Enterprising Hawker—"'Ere y'are, sir—map of London, one penny."—Punch.
# "I'm a very busy man, sir. What is your proposition?"
"I want to make you rich."
"Just so. Leave your recipe with me and I'll look it over later. Just now I'm engaged in closing up a little deal by which I expect to make $3.50 in real money."
# A teacher asked those pupils who wanted to go to heaven to raise their hands. All except little Ikey's hands went up. The teacher asked him if he didn't want to go to heaven and Ikey replied that he had heard his father tell his mother that 'Business had all gone to hell' and Ikey wanted to go where the business had gone.
# "There is one respect in which a live business man isn't like a tree."
"What is that?"
"If he remains rooted to the spot, he can't branch out."
# First Merchant (as reported in the New York "Trade Record")—"How's business?"
Second Merchant—"Picking up a little. One of our men got a $5,000 order yesterday."
"Go away. I don't believe that."
"Honest he did—I'll show you the cancellation."
# A business man advertised for an office boy. The next morning there were some fifty boys in line. He was about to begin examining the applicants when his stenographer handed him a card on which was scribbled:
"Don't do anything until you see me. I'm the last kid in line, but I'm telling you I'm there with the goods."
# Unfortunate Pedestrian (who has been knocked down and dazed)—"Where am I? Where am I?" Enterprising Hawker—"'Ere y'are, sir—map of London, one penny."—Punch.
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